Chapter 1
You know? Things were just fine. I was 18 years old and was starting my second semester. My objective up to that point had been to drink as much as I could and to have as much sex as possible without getting thrown out of college; simple, straight forward goals. Actually, not straight forward, as far as sex goes at least, I had gay forward goals. That is, to find as many gay men as possible and move forward, over and over.
Then it all came crashing down. Damn him. I walked into my first freshman chemistry class and my every goal in life changed at that very instance. Greg Lathrop was introduced as our graduate assistant in the class, and would be leading some of the teaching, all the tutorials and would keep regular office hours for those needing extra help. Frankly, all I wanted was to lead Greg Lathrop to a bed, hell a closet would do. But, for the first time in my life I not only wanted sex, I wanted him. I knew he was gay, I just knew. But, I still asked around a little and confirmed it.
The first class I couldn't even open my mouth, but I tend to get over that kind of thing quickly.
I have since found every excuse possible to go to him for help. What can I say? I must be an especially dense kind of guy. Greg and I have had many conversations. We've talked mostly about class work but, forgive the pun, there has been other chemistry at work and I'm not talking about the periodic table here.
One thing he has made very clear is that there will be no chance or even talk of a relationship until he is no longer in a teaching position of a class I'm in. I guess that is just the kind of guy he is.
Chapter 2
I'm an idiot. Let’s just get that settled from the start. It's been about a month since I met Greg and starting going to his tutorials and getting 'extra help' during his office hours. But, please, what am I suppose to do? Just sit in my condo every night waiting for the semester to pass? So, Friday night I went to the next town with some friends, straight friends, to a bar that we knew didn't look too closely at I.D.'s. The funny thing is that I have wanted to hang more with my straight friends than my gay ones lately. With my straight friends, of course, sex is taken right off the table. I wouldn't say I'm saving myself for Greg. In the first place it would be too damn late for that. It's just that, well, I don't want to do it just now, except for the self-service variety. Maybe I'm not saving myself for Greg, but I am waiting for him. For all I know he's out screwing ten people a night. But I'm not doing this for Greg, I'm doing it for me.
Anyway, on Friday night things got a little tense over a billiards game. Too much beer was imbibed. And, with a overload of teenaged testosterone mixed with a lot of beer, it really didn't take much to have a situation. And, you can't watch a friend take a punch and sit back and dial 911, I mean you just can't. I didn't and I have a busted hand and a ferocious black eye to prove it. I also now have a court date.
The court date doesn't worry me very much. My father has really expensive, excellent lawyers. And well, honestly, this isn't the first time something similar to this has happened. My dad is a busy guy. He and my mother divorced when I was like four or something. He and I probably haven't spent a total of 30 hours in each other’s company since then but I can always count on him when money is involved. Prep school, a boat, summer trips, he foots the bills without a problem. It probably makes him feel like he's a good father or something. Does he know I'm gay? Hell no. He still doesn't know that I broke my leg when I was ten. Why would I risk telling him something that might make him stop doing the one thing he does?
I'm not concerned about getting arrested. But, I am a little wary of walking into chem today. I guess I don't want to do anything to screw up what hasn't even started. And, I have an idea that the good Mr. Lathrop might not like my new look. Also, with my hand in a cast my keyboard skills are not so good and with all the activity of the weekend I haven't exactly finished the assignment that's due. So, it's with some trepidation that I enter the room.
Greg is at the front turning on the smart board and getting notes uploaded. So, I'm able to slide into a seat in the back. I have a baseball cap pulled pretty low and my right hand concealed under the desk. It's not like I think he won't eventually notice, but postponing it seems like a good idea.
Except as soon as Greg turned around, his eyes zero in on mine. Normally that would be a good thing. Everyone is here and the first thing he says is, "Mr. Morris, please remove your cap." Greg only calls me Colton when it's just us talking over an assignment. Otherwise, it's "Mr. Morris", but he does that with everyone, 'Mr. Johnson', 'Miss Brown', it makes him sound all stuffy and he really isn't. He even has a sense of humor, but that Mr. and Miss stuff seriously breaks me up. I take off the baseball cap and see him hike his eyebrows up a little as he gets the full impact of the black eye. I brought my right arm above the desk, too, figuring I might as well let him see all the damage and get it over with. He just stared wordlessly for about thirty seconds, then he turned back to the board and started the class. And, that was that.
Toward the end of the period he went up and down the aisles collecting the assignment that was due. When he got to me I raised my casted arm and opened my eyes wide, shrugged and gave him a look of, 'How could I possibly have completed it'? He just continued on without a word.
Two days later when I went to class, Greg wasn't there. Another grad student was uploading his lesson plan into the smart board. He introduced himself as Jeremy Gaines and said that there'd been staffing changes and that he would be teaching our class for the remainder of the semester. I was devastated. I knew I had messed up with the one guy I've ever really wanted. And in typical Colton fashion, I'd managed to screw it up without ever starting. I actually had a little eye watering problem for a few minutes. And I don't believe I heard a word of Jeremy's lecture.
Chapter 3
Just as class was ending, Jeremy said, "Colton Morris, can I see you for a minute?" I slowly gathered my things keeping my eyes down so I didn't have to meet the gaze of the students leaving the room. I wondered how much this Jeremy guy knew about Greg and me. Then again, what the hell is there to know?
I walked slowly to the front of the room. "Yes?"
Jeremy looked at me a for a few moments then picked up an envelope from the desk bedside him. "Greg asked me to give you this."
I gave him a very fake, slightly trembling smile, "Thanks man. I appreciate it." As I took the letter and turned to go, I heard Jeremy's voice from behind me, "Colton."
I turned and looked at him. Jeremy stuck one hand in his pocket and for a moment I didn't think he was going to say anything else. But then softly, "He's a good guy."
I nodded, holding his gaze for a moment. Then sticking the envelope in my jacket turned and walked out of the classroom. I had immediately thought that the letter from Greg was a sort of crazy assed Dear John letter excusing himself from the possibility of any future relationship. But, then Jeremy's words confused me a bit. I made myself wait until I got home to read the letter, going so far as to pour a coke, take off my shoes and sit myself down on the couch.
Colton,
As you now know I am no longer teaching or assisting in your chemistry class.
When you appeared in class on Monday clearly beat up I didn't view you as a sympathetic teacher would have done. I viewed you as someone that I cared for, that had obviously got himself into a very bad situation. I felt protective, I felt anger at whoever did this to you. I felt the need to sit you down and have a very serious discussion about staying out of whatever circumstances allowed you to be injured.
In short, I realized that the professional separation that I was working to maintain had been breached and that I could no longer keep you at the distance I needed to.
I talked to my graduate advisor and she worked out the switch with Jeremy Gaines.
I would like to meet with you very soon to discuss how we would like to go on (or not) from here.
Greg
789 236-1123
I felt elated.
Whoa. Excuse me just a minute but I have an urgent situation here. My jeans and briefs are at my knees and in a wink of an eye my hand is on my dick. In my mind though, it's Greg's mouth surrounding me and he's whispering stern words into my ear. Just how he manages to have his mouth in two places at once, I don't know. But, the only really relevant thing here is that I need to get off. Right. Now.
Chapter 4
I can't believe how strongly his rather mildly worded letter has affected me.
As soon as I had cleaned up a little I picked up my iphone and started punching in his number. But, as I did a tsunami like wave of fear overtook me. I killed the call, realizing that the idea of a dominant boyfriend was one thing but the reality of it, well, was a little on the scary side. Would he expect me to do whatever he told me to? I mean, during sex, great, but the rest of the time? And, what would he do if I didn't do whatever it was he told me to? What then? Huh? Pretty scary shit, actually.
But, of course I made the call.
"Greg? It's Colton" at least that's what I attempted to say but my damn voice cracked on my own name. I couldn't believe it.
But his voice came back, "Hey Colton, I've been worried about you, are you okay?"
"Yeah, it's worse than it looks ...... I mean, it looks worse than it is. Whatever." Okay, could I possibility sound like a bigger idiot?
"Are you free to grab a bite to eat tonight? That is, you know, just to start to get to know each other outside of class." Wow, Greg sounded a little nervous too. I didn't think that was even possible. I mean trust me, you've never met a more confident guy.
I tried for nonchalant, "Sounds good."
"How about Chili's?"
Just as class was ending, Jeremy said, "Colton Morris, can I see you for a minute?" I slowly gathered my things keeping my eyes down so I didn't have to meet the gaze of the students leaving the room. I wondered how much this Jeremy guy knew about Greg and me. Then again, what the hell is there to know?
I walked slowly to the front of the room. "Yes?"
Jeremy looked at me a for a few moments then picked up an envelope from the desk bedside him. "Greg asked me to give you this."
I gave him a very fake, slightly trembling smile, "Thanks man. I appreciate it." As I took the letter and turned to go, I heard Jeremy's voice from behind me, "Colton."
I turned and looked at him. Jeremy stuck one hand in his pocket and for a moment I didn't think he was going to say anything else. But then softly, "He's a good guy."
I nodded, holding his gaze for a moment. Then sticking the envelope in my jacket turned and walked out of the classroom. I had immediately thought that the letter from Greg was a sort of crazy assed Dear John letter excusing himself from the possibility of any future relationship. But, then Jeremy's words confused me a bit. I made myself wait until I got home to read the letter, going so far as to pour a coke, take off my shoes and sit myself down on the couch.
Colton,
As you now know I am no longer teaching or assisting in your chemistry class.
When you appeared in class on Monday clearly beat up I didn't view you as a sympathetic teacher would have done. I viewed you as someone that I cared for, that had obviously got himself into a very bad situation. I felt protective, I felt anger at whoever did this to you. I felt the need to sit you down and have a very serious discussion about staying out of whatever circumstances allowed you to be injured.
In short, I realized that the professional separation that I was working to maintain had been breached and that I could no longer keep you at the distance I needed to.
I talked to my graduate advisor and she worked out the switch with Jeremy Gaines.
I would like to meet with you very soon to discuss how we would like to go on (or not) from here.
Greg
789 236-1123
I felt elated.
Whoa. Excuse me just a minute but I have an urgent situation here. My jeans and briefs are at my knees and in a wink of an eye my hand is on my dick. In my mind though, it's Greg's mouth surrounding me and he's whispering stern words into my ear. Just how he manages to have his mouth in two places at once, I don't know. But, the only really relevant thing here is that I need to get off. Right. Now.
Chapter 4
I can't believe how strongly his rather mildly worded letter has affected me.
As soon as I had cleaned up a little I picked up my iphone and started punching in his number. But, as I did a tsunami like wave of fear overtook me. I killed the call, realizing that the idea of a dominant boyfriend was one thing but the reality of it, well, was a little on the scary side. Would he expect me to do whatever he told me to? I mean, during sex, great, but the rest of the time? And, what would he do if I didn't do whatever it was he told me to? What then? Huh? Pretty scary shit, actually.
But, of course I made the call.
"Greg? It's Colton" at least that's what I attempted to say but my damn voice cracked on my own name. I couldn't believe it.
But his voice came back, "Hey Colton, I've been worried about you, are you okay?"
"Yeah, it's worse than it looks ...... I mean, it looks worse than it is. Whatever." Okay, could I possibility sound like a bigger idiot?
"Are you free to grab a bite to eat tonight? That is, you know, just to start to get to know each other outside of class." Wow, Greg sounded a little nervous too. I didn't think that was even possible. I mean trust me, you've never met a more confident guy.
I tried for nonchalant, "Sounds good."
"How about Chili's?"
"Sounds good," arrg, I had repeated myself,
"what time?"
"Umm, does 6:30 work?"
"Sure, sounds good, see you there." Again! Damn! I punched off the phone and bit my wrist in embarrassment.
I arrived at Chili's about ten minutes late, only because it took me about a half hour to pick out which shirt I wanted to wear. I could not believe how nervous I was.
But, I was sort of glad I looked pretty good when I spied Greg. He had a crisp blue button down shirt on, with a dark leather bomber jacket. He looked great. He had just a bit of dark stubble showing on his face and these really white teeth when he looked up and smiled. I swear, I wanted to shock Chili's and kiss him until we both couldn't breathe.
Chapter 5
As I watched Colton approach, I smiled to myself at how much his name fits him. My parents run a horse farm in Kentucky and I'd seen plenty of colts before. And Colton with his amazingly long legs, little rounded butt and springy gait was all colt. He swung his long blond hair out of his eyes as he approached. But I never saw a colt with bright green/gold eyes that seemed to spark from within as he grinned. I also never saw a colt with a black eye, I thought darkly.
I took the chance of reaching my right hand out and squeezing his left hand as we sat down. Just a brief squeeze but I felt a frisson of excitement as we made that connection. I didn’t want my heart (or lower regions) to start leading my head here and I took a deep breath to get myself to reverse gears. It wasn't too hard to do, I really did want to get to know him. I am determined that we are going to take our time sexually. If the signals I am picking up from him and my own feelings are correct, this could become a very important relationship for both of us.
We talked about things we are interested in, regular topics. We spoke of sports teams we follow and like to play, where we had grown up, and roommates. Although, unbelievably he doesn't have a roommate but lives by himself in a condo off campus. That is really unheard of for a freshman. He said his father had bought it for an investment. In that case, his father must have some serious cash.
We took our time over dinner and even ordered coffee after they'd cleared the table. I thought it was time to find out the story behind his injuries.
"So, where'd you get that black eye? And, is your hand broken?"
Colton lifted his arm from where it rested on the table. "Naw, it's just fractured, not that bad really." I was a little amused by his starting to fidget a little, picking up a salt package and looking at it rather than at me. I'd bet a hundred dollars he already knew I wasn't going to like his explanation.
"The facts please. Where were you, who hit you and what else happened?" I reached over and took the salt package out of his hand.
He put his hands in his lap and slowly raised his eyes to mine. "I was at Sanchos over in Bridgewater. Nothing too spectacular, really. I was with some friends, we were playing pool and a guy took a swing at a friend of mine. I tried to keep this guy's friend from taking a swing at him too." He grinned at me. "I kind of broke his swing with my eye, I guess."
I didn't smile back. "Hmmm... Sanchos is a bar, right?"
"Yes."
"What were you doing in a bar? You told me you just turned 19."
"Doing the same thing all the other 19 year olds do, drinking beer and playing pool." There was a note of challenge in his voice. I knew that we had to get a few things straight from the beginning of whatever this was we were starting.
"Well, it could be that that's about to change. For you at any rate." Our eyes locked together and I was glad to see that after a minute or so he lowered his to the table.
"Colton, I think you already know that I have some strong opinions. Oh, sometimes compromise will be appropriate, but there are going to be other times..... Look, I have no desire to direct your every move but I am equally unwilling to allow behaviors to continue that I view as harmful to you or to us, that is if we decide there is a 'us'." I paused and waited for him to look at me.
I gave him my most penetrating look and spoke very slowly. "I don't want you to ever think I have deceived you. So I want to tell you upfront that in certain situations I'm going to expect you to do as I ask you to." I gave him a small smile. "And, I'll also tell you that if your dick isn't about to bust your zipper right now, this may not be the right type of relationship for you."
Colton's eyes suddenly widened a bit. I had surprised him, maybe even shocked him. He gave me a small smile and squirmed in his seat a little, until he was more comfortable.
I smiled at him, "And if it is, well then, this just may be right."
"Umm, does 6:30 work?"
"Sure, sounds good, see you there." Again! Damn! I punched off the phone and bit my wrist in embarrassment.
I arrived at Chili's about ten minutes late, only because it took me about a half hour to pick out which shirt I wanted to wear. I could not believe how nervous I was.
But, I was sort of glad I looked pretty good when I spied Greg. He had a crisp blue button down shirt on, with a dark leather bomber jacket. He looked great. He had just a bit of dark stubble showing on his face and these really white teeth when he looked up and smiled. I swear, I wanted to shock Chili's and kiss him until we both couldn't breathe.
Chapter 5
As I watched Colton approach, I smiled to myself at how much his name fits him. My parents run a horse farm in Kentucky and I'd seen plenty of colts before. And Colton with his amazingly long legs, little rounded butt and springy gait was all colt. He swung his long blond hair out of his eyes as he approached. But I never saw a colt with bright green/gold eyes that seemed to spark from within as he grinned. I also never saw a colt with a black eye, I thought darkly.
I took the chance of reaching my right hand out and squeezing his left hand as we sat down. Just a brief squeeze but I felt a frisson of excitement as we made that connection. I didn’t want my heart (or lower regions) to start leading my head here and I took a deep breath to get myself to reverse gears. It wasn't too hard to do, I really did want to get to know him. I am determined that we are going to take our time sexually. If the signals I am picking up from him and my own feelings are correct, this could become a very important relationship for both of us.
We talked about things we are interested in, regular topics. We spoke of sports teams we follow and like to play, where we had grown up, and roommates. Although, unbelievably he doesn't have a roommate but lives by himself in a condo off campus. That is really unheard of for a freshman. He said his father had bought it for an investment. In that case, his father must have some serious cash.
We took our time over dinner and even ordered coffee after they'd cleared the table. I thought it was time to find out the story behind his injuries.
"So, where'd you get that black eye? And, is your hand broken?"
Colton lifted his arm from where it rested on the table. "Naw, it's just fractured, not that bad really." I was a little amused by his starting to fidget a little, picking up a salt package and looking at it rather than at me. I'd bet a hundred dollars he already knew I wasn't going to like his explanation.
"The facts please. Where were you, who hit you and what else happened?" I reached over and took the salt package out of his hand.
He put his hands in his lap and slowly raised his eyes to mine. "I was at Sanchos over in Bridgewater. Nothing too spectacular, really. I was with some friends, we were playing pool and a guy took a swing at a friend of mine. I tried to keep this guy's friend from taking a swing at him too." He grinned at me. "I kind of broke his swing with my eye, I guess."
I didn't smile back. "Hmmm... Sanchos is a bar, right?"
"Yes."
"What were you doing in a bar? You told me you just turned 19."
"Doing the same thing all the other 19 year olds do, drinking beer and playing pool." There was a note of challenge in his voice. I knew that we had to get a few things straight from the beginning of whatever this was we were starting.
"Well, it could be that that's about to change. For you at any rate." Our eyes locked together and I was glad to see that after a minute or so he lowered his to the table.
"Colton, I think you already know that I have some strong opinions. Oh, sometimes compromise will be appropriate, but there are going to be other times..... Look, I have no desire to direct your every move but I am equally unwilling to allow behaviors to continue that I view as harmful to you or to us, that is if we decide there is a 'us'." I paused and waited for him to look at me.
I gave him my most penetrating look and spoke very slowly. "I don't want you to ever think I have deceived you. So I want to tell you upfront that in certain situations I'm going to expect you to do as I ask you to." I gave him a small smile. "And, I'll also tell you that if your dick isn't about to bust your zipper right now, this may not be the right type of relationship for you."
Colton's eyes suddenly widened a bit. I had surprised him, maybe even shocked him. He gave me a small smile and squirmed in his seat a little, until he was more comfortable.
I smiled at him, "And if it is, well then, this just may be right."
