My Three Dads

I realize that having been raised by three gay dads puts me a little out of the mainstream here in the good ol' US of A. Now I am eighteen and after taking a year to travel I will be starting college. I thought I might write a summary of what it has been like being raised by three gay men. Let's see, were there drunken orgies every night? Did I have to promise my dads that I would be gay when I grew up? Was I scared of contracting fatal diseases? You might say that these are ludicrous and ridiculous questions to raise. That may be true, but they were three of the many questions that I was asked by curious minds while I was growing up. The title of this essay may sound like a sitcom, but let me tell you that wasn't what I experienced.

The reality of life with my dads would probably disappoint many people because in many ways it was ordinary in the extreme. I went to school, I did homework, I even went to summer camp. None of my dads were like a mom, that being another question I was asked, several times in fact. My dads love me and my brother and they love each other. Yes, there were disagreements between me and my dads and there were disagreements between my dads. That's part of living with people. They were the best parents that they could be. Sometimes that meant that they made unpopular decisions. At least they were unpopular with me and my brother. I didn't always like what they decided but I never doubted that the decisions were made in my best interest.

My dads were three very different people with different likes and dislikes. And yes, sometimes when I wanted to do something I wasn't sure I'd be allowed to do, I was more likely to go to one of my fathers than the other two. The problem is that very early on their mantra became: We'll let you know after we have discussed this together. Once, I tried telling one father that the other two had already approved my plans. You notice I say I tried that once. It was not well received and that time was possibly the worse I was ever punished. Trust me, I wasn't about to try that again.

We had a lot of good times together. We went on some really cool vacations. And we're not done yet. I know my dads will always be there for me. They let me know very early that they were committed to each other and to my brother and I for life.

Let me know if you'd like to hear some of the stories, we have them just like other families. Sure we ran into some prejudices and there were some bad moments, those I'd rather not tell you about. They still hurt. But, there were plenty of good times too.

Ethan Roberts McClane Foster